From Confusion to Confidence: My Journey as a Parent of a Neurodivergent Child

Stage 1: Initial Shock and Disbelief

I’ll never forget one of the earliest conversations I had with my daughter’s preschool teacher in Singapore. She said, “She’s struggling to read. She’s not reading at her age level.” The words hit me like a punch to the stomach. My heart pounded as I tried to reconcile what I was hearing with the bright, curious, energetic child I knew. Different? Perhaps. But delayed? I couldn’t quite believe it.

Stage 2: Grief and Mourning

That moment marked the beginning of a journey I never anticipated—one that has shaped who I am today, both personally and professionally. At first, I was in disbelief. Like many parents, I questioned the observations, attributing them to personality, environment, or a mismatch in teaching style. Underneath it all, there was grief—grief for the expectations I had unknowingly held. Letting go of those expectations felt like mourning a future I had imagined.

The diagram above shows the stages of acceptance—and I didn’t move through them in a straight line. I went back and forth, up and down. I still find myself moving through it with the different stages of my Child’s life.

Stage 3: Anger and Frustration

As reality began to settle in, I felt waves of frustration. Frustration with systems that didn’t seem to accommodate different ways of learning, with professionals who spoke in absolutes, and with myself for not knowing sooner. The emotions were messy but real, and they needed space to be acknowledged.

Stage 4: Solution Seeking

Once the initial fog lifted, I channelled my energy into action. I read voraciously, connected with other parents, and pursued assessments and support. That’s when I realised my daughter didn’t have a ‘problem’. She simply learned differently. A highly visual learner, she needed a teaching style that matched her unique way of processing information. She needed an approach that played to her strengths.

Stage 5: Depression and Anxiety

Despite my growing knowledge, moments of self-doubt crept in. Was I doing enough? Was I making the right choices? There were days filled with anxiety and sleepless nights worrying about her future. Some days there was so much doubt about where to go and what to do?.

Stage 6: Acceptance and Hope

My curiosity turned into a calling. I retrained as a special educator, gaining the theoretical understanding and practical tools to support her better. This led to the founding of All Hands Together in 2012, driven by a vision that All Children Can Learn. With a strength-based, child-centred approach, I wanted to create a space where neurodivergent children could thrive, feel seen, heard, and valued.

The real turning point came through deep reflection and reframing. I stopped seeing neurodivergence as something to ‘fix’ and began to honour it as a different way of being. I moved from trying to make my child fit in, to creating space for her to belong. Acceptance and advocacy didn’t arrive in one grand moment. They came quietly—in small wins, in growing trust, and in shared understanding.

Walking Beside Other Parents

Today, I work with parents—not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve walked this path. I understand the exhaustion, the secret tears, and the constant questioning. But I also know the deep joy of truly seeing your child and embracing a different—but no less beautiful—way forward.

Click on this link book your FREE discovery session 

https://tidycal.com/yaso/30min-discovery